ittle confusion is
excusable when a man passes from wealth to beggary. He thought he
would make his last toilet with especial care. Parbleu! The French
nobility goes into battle in court costume! He was ready in less
than an hour. He put on his bejewelled watch-chain; then he put a
pair of little pistols, of the finest quality, in his overcoat
pocket; then he sent the valet away, and opening his desk, he
counted up what funds he had left. Ten thousand and some hundreds
of francs remained. He might with this sum take a journey, prolong
his life two or three months; but he repelled with disdain the
thought of a miserable subterfuge, of a reprieve in disguise. He
imagined that with this money he might make a great show of
generosity, which would be talked of in the world; it would be
chivalrous to breakfast with his inamorata and make her a present
of this money at dessert. During the meal he would be full of
nervous gayety, of cynical humor, and then he would announce his
intention to kill himself. The girl would not fail to narrate the
scene everywhere; she would repeat his last conversation, his last
will and gift; all the cafes would buzz with it at night; the papers
would be full of it.
This idea strangely excited him, and comforted him at once. He was
going out, when his eyes fell upon the mass of papers in his desk.
Perhaps there was something there which might dim the positiveness
of his resolution. He emptied all the drawers without looking or
choosing, and put all the papers in the fire. He looked with pride
upon this conflagration; there were bills, love letters, business
letters, bonds, patents of nobility, deeds of property. Was it not
his brilliant past which flickered and consumed in the fireplace?
The bailiff occurred to him, and he hastily descended. He was the
most polite of bailiffs, a man of taste and wit, a friend of artists,
himself a poet at times. He had already seized eight horses in the
stables with all their harness and trappings, and five carriages
with
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John Addington Symonds (October 5, 1840 - April 19, 1893) was an English poet and literary critic. He was an early advocate of the validity of male love which included for him pederastic as well as egalitarian relationships, and which he would refer to as lamour de limpossible.